I'm so glad I'm not...

... dating.

My buddy, P, has had her share of horrific dating experiences. Currently, she's on a conversational dating site, and boy oh boy does she get approached by some real winners!

So here is some comic relief to your boring workday, or a cautionary tale to online dating.
P's Dating Disasters is open for business...

Very odd.

She wants me to reiterate that this happens to her in real life, not just in the magical mystery world of the internet.

This one is my absolute favorite:

When, without prior plans, P was asked
"what are we doing Friday night?"
P responded, "I'm sorry, did we make plans?"
The rest, as they say, is history.

Wall of Shame...

uh... thanks?

absolutely not. never. never never never.
especially since you're from New Jersey.

And for my final trick of the evening...

not too sure of yourself are you dude...?
no wonder you deleted your profile...?

Ahh. This is the life.
Until next time, babes... we're out.

Deuces.

the true story of my [pathetic] life

This is, in fact, the true story of my life.

eldercats.

Yesterday I met a handsome 21 year old eldercat named Kincaide.  He was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. His eyes were cloudy, his fur segmented, his back end starting to hollow out, his shoulders hunched - but he was so special and I doubt his face will leave my mind for a long time. He came running (very slowly, on teetering legs) to me and pushed his face into my hands. I scratched and rubbed his face, and got the best reward - the loudest, longest purr I've ever heard from a cat. So thankful, so loving, and so warm.

I wish I had taken a picture.

But, he looks a lot like facebook "figure" Juliet - of The Grannies - a 21 year old cat saved from Animal Care and Control here in Manhattan, with her sister Kate...

Grannies Juliet and Kate, before Kate's passing last year.

Juliet looks just like Kincaide here. Though his eyes are cloudier.
Simply beautiful.

Sadly, sparkly-eyed Katie left us in 2011, but Juliet lives on in a VERY loving home, spreading the message that senior animals really do make the best friends.

Kincaide's mom, C, told me that he'd just gotten out of the hospital for his diabetes. She gives him insulin injections twice everyday, and gives him sub-q fluid daily as well. His quality of life is really fantastic, and she doesn't regret a moment or a dollar, because he's been with her through everything. Divorce, remarriage, divorce, raising her daughter, move after move after move. He's truly the longest relationship she's ever had, after finding him in a parking lot of a diner when her daughter was 5, and he's rewarded her with 21 years of unconditional love and affection. What more can you ask for? To me, nothing.

I can only hope that my beautiful cats, Sookie and The Cheshire Cat, choose to stick with me as long as Kincaide and Juliet.

The Cheshire Cat, having just appeared in a cloud of smoke.

Sookie, trying to abuse the camera.

They're still young - Sook is 2ish and Cess is 5-6 - but I can't help but think about what they'll be like when they're little old ladies, staring at teenaged kids and yelling for their food... which they do already. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them - vet visits, injections, daily fluids, pills, and daily scratches as a thank you. Because I love them.

What do you think your cat(s) will be like in 10 or 15 years? What about your dog(s)?

Mine will remain awesome. ;)