collecting friends or calling all swaps!

Hello Dear Ones!

I'm very excited to announce that I'm looking for friends to blogswap with! I've got a few pals linked up on the right sidebar, but I'm always looking for more... and more!

So, right now, we're just going to start with small ads (250x80). Free for an unlimited time, or as long as you keep me on your sidebar! So, go ahead and go through PassionFruit, make sure you use the couponcode: perchedBFF to make it free!, and I'll email you to find out what size button you want from me. Wins all around.

Also, if this is any incentive, I have ads on The Wonder Forest (currently), Story of my Life (starting June 12), Mom2MemphisandRuby (starting tomorrow), and Absolute Mommy (currently). My Scentsy business has ads on Mama Marchand's Nest (starting June 1) and on The Wonder Forest. So that will, hopefully, result in more traffic to me, and then, in turn, to you!

I adore each of you. I think you're swell, and I can't wait to get to know you all better!

tuesday 10: cure for the blues.

Okay friends, here's whats up:

I'm having a HORRIBLE day at work. I mean horrible. I've only been here for a few hours and already I want to throw in the towel. Mornings here are the hardest because the tourists are out in full force, demanding their extra bags, and screaming at me in languages unknown. But today, add 90 degree temps and sidewalks hot enough to fry an egg, to say nothing of the soles of your shoes.
So, instead of bitching, I'm going to compile a list. Because list making calms me down.
Down girl... down.

Here's your hosts...

Lena @ Mom2MemphisandRuby

and

Jade @ ConstantChatter

And onto my 10 Favorite Possessions...

Linda Blair in the original Exorcist (1973).

Oh wait... that's not what you meant? Rats!
Ha. I kid, I kid!

Seriously, I'm not that big on material things, but there are a few things in my life that I can't live without... though that's hard to admit! I'm not going to include my critters, because they're not possessions... they're family. I'm hard pressed to think of 10!

{the iPhone}

Congratulations Steve Jobs. I live with my iPhone (named Paisley) attached to my body. It's sort of pathetic. I feel strange withdrawal symptoms anytime I'm away from her. When I turn her off for an hour, I always rush to see if anything has happened in my absence. Kinda pathetic, I know.

{the AC}

my baby

This sweet new addition to our family came yesterday. When it was 9,000 degrees, and I was sweating just thinking about getting up to stick my head in the freezer. B and I gave in and bought it (and it's little brother that lives in our bedroom) at Lowes and put it in immediately upon return home. We sweat buckets putting them together. And then I laid on the couch and dreamed of igloos and Eskimos. Amazing.

{Blankets}

I know this seems counter intuitive given the above item, however...

I love blankets. I love to pile them, I love to be under them. Blankets are love.

{Rings}
I love my wedding set.
My engagement ring is a heart shaped diamond center stone that my grandmother used to wear as a pendant as long as I can remember.

My wedding band is just a half eternity band.

I'll show you all a picture after I clean it. It's really really really dirty.

{Popcorn popper}

I feel a little weird writing about my popcorn popper right after my wedding rings, but I really do love it. 

{My Bunny}

not my Bunny... but I have many similar.

I had my bunny blanket from the second I was born. I took it with me to college. That's how serious this is. I haven't brought it with me to New York from my parents house yet, because until now, we weren't living somewhere permanent enough, and I didn't want to lose it. This, my dears, was the most important thing in my life for a very very very long time. They don't make these anymore. In fact, this one I found as "Vintage 1979 Bunny" on google. It's being sold for $182.99. I wish I was joking. I want to own all of these and have them for my children when they come along.

And since when is 1979 Vintage?! I'll cut someone.

{Hair Straightener}

I think this one speaks for itself, no?

{Laptop}

A Mac that I got for $500 while working for the blue devil. Its the single best thing I've ever bought. I love it. It loves me. Sometimes it overheats and turns itself off. Don't worry, Laptop... I forgive you.

{The Jetta}

So having a car isn't a big deal for most people, but owning a car - that I don't have payments on - in NYC is sort of ridiculous. It's a pain in the ass to park - you get real good real fast at parallel parking - but it also means you can get away at the drop of a hat. Key to freedom. I love my car. This is what it looks like...

this is not my car.
mine is the same, but dirty.

hmmm, last but not least...

{tea}

While this is not a singular thing, I'm 100% sure that I can't live without tea. Iced with absolutely nothing in it - not sweetened or too strong. Hot with cream and honey.
I love you, tea. 

And that, my dears, is that.

I feel a bit better, but mostly I just want to go home and snuggle next to my new air conditioner.

go fly a kite

My father in law came to visit, briefly, Sunday and Monday. It was great to have him - he's such a strange (in a good way!) and eclectic guy that you inevitably learn something from him, even when you don't think you are.

He's been making and flying kites since forever. I know that that probably sounds very Charlie Brown to you, but the truth is, it takes understanding of tons of math and physics to be able to make and fly kites well. He can coax a kite into the air in any wind conditions... it's kind of amazing. He's had pictures in the newspapers in our hometown too - maybe that was a slow news day. But still, really cool stuff.

A little backstory is that my FIL grew up in Brooklyn, close by where we now live. He spent a lot of his childhood bounced around to foster homes (yet, his parents were still alive), and then went to boarding school. He was drafted by the army in 1963, served in California, and ultimately ended up coming back to New York. He never finished college, though he's one of the smartest people I've ever met. I think that, somehow, academic achievement meant very little to him because it wasn't a challenge. That's just my guess though.

The idea of flying kites off of our roof had been B's. He knew his dad wouldn't be able to resist. I personally hate going up on the roof. Serious and major fear of heights for this girl. I snapped this photo, and a few others before I had to hand the camera to B and go back inside.

Just looking at it makes my knees feel like liquid.

When presented with the flying kites from the roof notion, my FIL said thoughtfully, "It'll be the first Brooklyn flight since 1976..."(his sentences always sort of drift off, like he has another thought to back up the one before, but he's keeping the rest of it to himself.) So, without further ado... a flight 36 years in the making.

All kites are handmade with weird plastic things - like paper towel packaging and chinese take-out bags.

It took no time to get this baby in the air.

Thank you and have a nice day.

friday confessional.

stolen from facebook... with no idea as to who the original creator is...
sorry about that, blogger-verse.

I have a problem.
That's a lie, I have many problems. Waking up and being nice about it is only one of them. Luckily, I am usually alone when waking up in the morning. B leaves for work at ungodly-hour-o'clock, so he doesn't usually have to be subjected to me grumpy groaning, whining, and overall loathing of my morning ritual.

Here's how it usually goes:
6:45am - Sookie steps on my alarm clock, causing chaos. Loud music, barking dogs, me wishing I was dead.
6:45:30am - I grab said cat and stuff her under the covers, groping for the right buttons to turn off music, but not actual alarm.
6:47am - give up and unplug alarm clock. It's still making noise.
6:47:30am - take batteries out. It shuts up.
6:48am - set alarm on iphone for 7:15am
6:48:30am - pass out.

7:15am - alarm goes off. Hit snooze without opening eyes.
7:20am - Cessie tries to smother me with her enormous, furry body, digging her nails into my flesh. Ignore this as long as possible.
7:24am - alarm goes off. Hit snooze without opening eyes.
7:25am - Cessie sits directly on my face. Turn head. Pass out.
7:30am - Cessie boops my nose gently with front paw, as if to say, "wake up, you lazy sack of litter. there's work to be done." Ignore her.
7:33am - alarm goes off. Hit snooze without opening eyes.
7:35am - shift weight or sigh.
7:35:15am - Conrad reads slight shift or sigh as sign that I'm up. He begins stretching, yawning, and army crawling all over me.
7:36am - Lexi wakes up and starts snuggling and kissing my face. Brief period of quiet snuggling.
7:40am - Wrestlemania 2012 begins. The heavyweight, Lexi gets her neck bitten by the lightweight conference champ, Conrad. Attempt to hide under blankets and pillows while they wrestle.
7:42am - alarm goes off. turn it off. continue watching wrestlemania.
7:47am - Wrestlemania ends when both champs run into Sookie and she hisses and punches them in the face.

8:00am - get out of bed when dogs desire for food outweighs desire to provoke cat into punching them in the face over and over.
8:02am - feed dogs, feed cats, head to bathroom to make sense of hair and face.
8:03am - stare at self in mirror
8:13am - realize there's nothing that can be done, and put hair in pony bun.
8:15am - take dogs outside for their second morning walk (they've already been out at ungodly-hour-o'clock with B.)
8:45am - come back in, think about feeding self.
8:46am - stare into fridge
8:50am - realize I only have 10 minutes to get ready for work.
8:51am - panic.
9:01am - walk out the door in clothes that may match.
9:02am - get to the bottom of the stairs and realize I forgot something vital (phone, wallet, keys or any combination of the three)
9:05am - finally walk out the front door and practically run to the train to get into the city on time.
9:20am - wait on the platform, feeling like everyone is looking at me because my clothes don't match, my hair is insane, and my face looks like a car crash.
9:25am - train comes. think about fighting an old lady for a seat. stand instead.
9:30am - see a seat open up, and throw self into it before anyone else can claim it.
9:31am - revel in having won the seat by avoiding eye contact with anyone that's still standing.
9:35am - read book and ignore panhandlers.
9:56am - get off at appropriate midtown manhattan subway stop. Think about running toward The Lifesuck, but would rather be late than winded.
10:02am - arrive at The Lifesuck. Do not apologize for my lateness unless someone who can fire me is there. Begin workday.

Wash, rinse, repeat Monday-Friday and every other Saturday.

What was the point I was trying to make here? Ah, yes, that I have a problem with mornings. I absolutely envy those of you that are up and chipper and happy to be alive in the mornings. That's just not me. Sometimes, I get to work and I don't really remember how I got there. Or I look at what I'm wearing and think, "I should start laying out clothes the night before. I look insane."

On days that I've showered, done my hair, or actually struck gold with an outfit that matches, I get complimented like I'd gotten a makeover or something, which leads me to believe that on normal days, I actually do look as tragic as I feel on a daily basis.

What gets you morning people motivated to rise and shine like you do? Is there a regime that I can try to make myself more pleasant functional in the mornings? Or am I doomed to mismatched clothes and insane hair until I find a job that lets me get up after 9 am? Your sage advice would be appreciated.

tuesday10 linkup... sountrack to your life

I love music. Like really... probably more than most other [normal] people. Music has always been with me, singing to me through, literally everything that I've ever been through. So, a soundtrack to my life you ask for? A soundtrack to my life you shall have.

1. Here she comes... watch out boys, she'll chew you up.

Maneater (Hall and Oates) was the number one song the week I was born in 1982. Clearly foreshadowing into the dame I would later become.

2. Right from the start I gave you my heart.



Don't go breaking my Heart (Elton John and Kiki Dee) I was a weird kid. This little duet gem was one of my absolute favorite. I danced around and sang it all the time.

3. She's getting tired of her high class toys.



Uptown Girl (Billy Joel) So, Billy was a HUGE influence in how I feel about music today. Seriously. I listened to this stuff since I was tiny - my parents clearly have excellent taste in tunes - and I still adore him today. In fact, I think you'll be seeing more of Billy a little later in this ode to my musical life. Aside, this video is so hilarious. I can't stop laughing. And, having lived in New York, I finally understand what "uptown girls" and "downtown boys" are... The Upper East Side socialites dating boys from Brooklyn. Ha!

4. Every time she sneezes, I believe it's love.



Anna Begins (Counting Crows) Counting Crows' August and Everything After album was the first CD that I bought thoughtfully - meaning, I listened to tracks and made a decision that this was my music. Adam Duritz is the first songwriter that made me feel something new and different inside of myself. Something woke up inside me. I still listen to this album at least once a week.

5. Just hit me with the truth.



Bye Bye Bye (NSync) Okay, I know what you're all thinking, "Jackie, really? Really?" Well, there's a reason, friends. There's a very good reason.
In the year 2000, my girlfriends and I were obsessed in a major way. EE, LB, E(S)A, and KG were my partners in crime. We slaved over a hot VCR for countless hours to perfect these moves, and boy did we ever. We were AWESOME. We performed at our prom. Yes, seriously. PROM. In our gowns. And girls screamed like we were hot boys. Look, it's too good, you can't make this stuff up.

6. Just remember the telephones are working in both ways.



You and I Both (Jason Mraz) My favorite Mraz song by far. There's something in the chords and the lyrics (around 3:20 in this video) that turns a switch in my brain and sets me on fire. He's a magician. I just love him. And 2002, when this album came out, is the year I met my husband. It would only take us 7 years to get married.

7. And I get to kiss you baby, just because I can.



Everything (Michael Buble) This adorable little tune is the song that B and I first danced to at our wedding, which may or may not have been choreographed. There also may or may not be a video of this event posted on B's facebook. Maybe, if I'm feeling generous, I'll try to figure out how to post it here. Anyway, I have a wonderful guy, and this song is a celebration of someone you love. It's kinda perfect. And Michael B's voice... holy cow... So talented. Insanity.

8. Compare where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get no where.



Uncharted (Sara Bareilles) I would be remiss if I didn't include Sara B. I just love her. I was at this concert in Central Park with my sweet friend KS, we had a blast. I'd also seen Sara in concert a few years prior when she was opening for Counting Crows and Maroon 5 (Excellent show). She was amazing then. She's utterly inspiring now. Her joy is infectious. I just love her music - she often takes me to work in the mornings.

9. Slow down, you crazy child.



Vienna (Billy Joel) Here's the second installment of Billy that I promised. This song serves as a reminder for me. Slow down. Don't work so hard. Don't worry so much. Just living is okay. Just slow down and enjoy your life, you whackadoodle... some things can't be powered through, some things you just have to feel.

10. I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong.



I have to close with Jason Mraz. He's my current personal jesus and life coach. I've so recently posted my favorite song from his new album - 93 Million Miles - that I didn't want to repeat. So, Living in the Moment it is... "So I just let go of what I know I don't know." Amazing. Just live your life folks, easy and breezy. Peace in my heart, peace in my soul. All good things.

Best linkup ever. Thank you to Lena @Mom2MemphisAndRuby for always hosting, and or her cohost this week Ricki @ Rogue Baby





And that, my beauties, is that.

long but not lost?

photo: hellogiggles

I'm so hesitant to post this, and I'm not sure why. I've had it ready to go for days, but haven't been able to push the publish button... for no good reason really. Well, part of the point of blogging is to put yourself out there and face the consequences, so here goes... a little piece of my heart.

It's a funny thing when you lose a friend.

A few years ago, I lost a friend - not just a friend, but a close friend... a best friend. Don't get the wrong idea, he didn't pass away - it was nothing that final or, honestly, that easy. I lost him to a series of unfortunate events that led him to no longer be my friend. I lost him to his inability to tell me the truth, and my inability to get over my fear of confrontation and just ask to have my needs met. I lost him to his running away from a problem, and my own fury at being lied to and avoided. A series of very unfortunate events that culminated in totally cutting ties with one another.

It cut me to the core.

He is the first person that I've ever lost in this way, not the only one, but definitely the loss I felt the hardest and mourned the longest. I didn't write for years, literally years, because he was the one that I used to bounce my writing off of. He was the one that gave me honest feedback. If something I'd been working on was terrible, truly horrible, he'd say, "Not so good, Jazz. Try again." or "You can do better than that." And when I succeeded with something, he'd nod his head and give me a simple, "Nice." No big show about about it, because that's not how he rolled, but I knew it when he thought my work was good, and I felt good about it. Losing him may have been the final straw of why I quit acting for real. He was my honest opinion. We'd done so much theatre together, so much GREAT theatre, that not having him to talk it out with, or work on audition material with, or cry outside of rehearsal when I just couldn't cram another ridiculous lyric in my brain with made the work a little less sweet.

He was a person that I knew better than I knew myself, but also would always be a total mystery to me. He's a gay republican... How does that even happen?! Just kidding... kind of. ;) It's one of the things about him that never made sense to me, but added to his overall You just never know that he had, and likely still has, going on.

I've thought about him so much, almost daily, since our "split", and I still feel it as raw as I did on the day I first realized that he wasn't coming back. I miss him deeply, but I've also come to terms with the fact that we really may never speak again. It's a hard thing to cope with, but it was ultimately something that I realized may be forever, especially when both parties do unforgivable things to one another. I'm not proud of what I did to drive the final stake between us, but I don't know that I would take it back either. At some level, I think he needed it to happen in order to realize that you can't just walk out on someone that trusted you. Or, you know, maybe not. Maybe my reactive behavior taught him nothing positive. I may never know either way.

And then again, maybe I will...

A few days ago, as B and I were going through boxes from our move PRIOR to this one, boxes that I hadn't opened in over a year, I found a bunch of his stuff. Sweet, important stuff, like kindergarten report cards and photos of his friends, that I'd been holding on to in case he came back. Well, he never came back, and I'm not a person that could throw out such obviously personal things, even those belonging to a person that I was so furious with. Seeing how torn I was about them, B asked me if he could facebook message the owner and ask if he wanted these precious items. I nodded, and didn't say much. B did, and with a speedy reply, my old friend said yes, and offered to pay shipping (which is totally unnecessary). He also said that he thought of us often and asked if it would be okay to write an email to catch up.

I was floored. I didn't expect to feel such a swift kick in the gut when B told me about the reply. I didn't expect to feel relief flooding through me. But I did. I felt joy... plain and simple. My friend, that I had wished the best for and missed desperately, wanted to write to me.

I only want to talk to him. I want to know where he's been and what he's been doing. I want to know what his hopes and dreams are, if they're still the same, and I want him to know mine. I want him to know that life has been kind to me in some ways, and very difficult in others. Most of all, I want him to know that I've missed him so terribly. I want him to know that every time I hear "Hey Jealousy", I think of us, driving around town, laughing so hard our faces hurt, and him eating JBCB's at every Wendy's we passed.  Every time I hear or read the words "praise band", I think of his made-up lyrics, "Her sister was in the praise band. It's funny, cause she's a sinner." and I smile hard before the bittersweetness sobers me up.

We will probably never be like we were. We will probably take years to recover what we lost, and I don't know if he's even interested in that. But just knowing that he's out there - that he's thought of me and missed me... well, it's almost enough to make the sadness worthwhile.

Almost.

Have any of you ever lost a friend like this? Have you reconciled and reunited? Should I let go of my expectations - since it's expectations that got us here in the first place - and just hope?

I'll take the advice where I can get it... this is a tough one for me.

let the rain.

This thunderstorm is a wild one. I woke up to a clap of thunder so loud, it sounded like it was in my bed with me. And while you're reading this, I'm likely drying my shoes on the heater at work.

So, in the spirit of the rain, let's start this Monday with my favorite song from one of my favorite singers, at the BEST concert I've ever been to in the best park in New York.

Let the rain come down indeed, Sara.

Happy Monday, everyone.

brooklyn charm(ing)

So, you know my Tuesday night gig? Well, I got called in to fill in for another sitter last night, and one of the little bits (the girl, K) asked me to help her find a french fry charm that she can buy for one of her friends birthdays. (Leads on french fry charms anyone? I have until Friday.) So, of course, I took to etsy to try to find her a local NYC shop to buy her charm!

I haven't had any luck finding the french fry charm yet, but I did make a great find that I can't let just stroll on by without saying anything. Run, don't walk, to Brooklyn Charm Shop.

Holy cow, you guys.  

Best. Shop. Ever.

I immediately went through their entire shop on etsy and fell in love. I then mapped out how I'm going to get to their physical location (on Bedford Ave at 9th Street in Williamsburg) from my apartment and when I'm actually going to have time to get there.

I was totally sad to see on their facebook page that I missed a FREE charm necklace event on Sunday. I was doing nothing on Sunday. I could've been in Williamsburg making a killer charm necklace. Bummer.

Anyway, here are a few things from their shop that I'm totally in love with...

I would totally get this with Pennsylvania [heart] New York

Custom Swarovski crystal rings
that you design yourself!
They give you guidelines, but the color at the number of stones
is totally up to you!

DINOSAW!!!

Dinosaw is apparently a HUGE piece of theirs, and I must admit that I'm totally obsessed. Here's what they say about Dinosaw on their shop: 

"This amazing, rambunctious little monster of a DINOSAW will saw your leg off, bite your head to bits, and scratch your eyes out. No, just kidding, he will just look really cute on you, and make for a great conversation piece at any party!"

Dinosaw even has his own facebook page. No joke. I effing LOVE that.

Here are a few more of my faves:

kitty cat charms! LOVE.

this gold gun bracelet reminds me of KS.
she'd LOVE this.

I used the censored pic, because this is a family show.
who am I kidding? So not a family show.

This is the perfect jewelry shop for me - coupling totally bizarre charms with beautiful crystals, and throwing in a well placed swear engraved on a locket. Seriously folks. Amazing.

Brooklyn Charm Shop's official website is here, but the etsy shop is where you'll fall in love. Take the plunge!

*I was not paid or given free jewels for writing this little love song. All my own opinions. Can't freaking wait to buy things and wear them everyday*

service project or a lesson in glue sticks

This passed Saturday, B dragged me out of bed early - which I totally didn't like, but it was for a good cause. We went to his school, where I lose him every day from 7am to 7pm. So why would he want to go in on the weekend too? That's what I said too, but it was actually really fun. He's a kindergarten teacher at an all girls charter school in urban Brooklyn, and his school is really different. They promote sisterhood, positivity, community, and overall excellence. This is one of the trillion banners hanging in the hallway there.

Anyway, the service project on Saturday was to put together care packages for patients in different areas of  Methodist Hospital in Brooklyn - oncology, pediatrics, general surgery, and rehabilitation. A bunch of girls and their families showed up to put them together. I ended up at a card making station, and being a not-too-artistically inclined person, I did the best I could!

It's not much, but it was fun! I made a few friends, all of whom were under 9 years old, and we made some fun stuff. 

Yes. I made a pop up. With construction paper. You are all infinitely more crafty and artistic than I am. You can make things that I can only dream of. That being said, I might be about to admit something kinda embarrassing...

I was really proud of my pop up!!!

And my new 8 year old best friend, H, was too. She killed it with 5 cards! And I loved helping her with her shapes. She would ask me for a yellow square, or a pink heart, or white, green, and red poofs. (We had been calling the "flowers" that I made on my first card poofs... I'm not sure why.) I'd make them and hand them over to her, and she would create such cute and fun things with them - with my yellow square she made the bottom of a house. She added my pink heart to a drawing of a girl, and wrote, "I hope you get better with my whole heart.". I wish I had remembered to snap some pictures of her cards, but she was done with them so fast and delivering them to packages that I just couldn't keep up!

H and I weren't the only one being creative, B was killing it with construction paper.

It was also nice to connect, even for a short time with a bunch of kids around, with the people that B goes to work with everyday. I secretly hope to make friends with one of his coworkers that I think is pretty darn cool... it's not so much of a secret now, I guess, but I think she's a neat girl, and totally want to be friends with her. Is that a weird thing to say as an adult? As a kid, it's totally acceptable to just ask to be friends with someone but...

hmmm... that feels like a totally different blog post.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this little foray into animal free community service projects! I haven't volunteered for anything that wasn't animal related in so long - I guess that's a side effect of basically running an animal rescue group for 2 years - and it was really fun to see the kids in action toward making others feel important. I loved being able to help them be creative - even in my own limited way. It was really great. I hope I get another chance to do something like it soon.

Do any of you have volunteer projects that really get you excited? What are they? Where can I sign up??

mom love

Yesterday was mother's day, obviously, but I was really lazy, so I thought I would leave this ode to my mama post for today. Don't judge. Better late than never, I always say.

My mom is so cool. But more than that, my mom is super supportive, and she almost always knows the answer to any question I could possibly have. If I'm driving and my directions are a big fat liar, she somehow ALWAYS knows the way to my destination even if she's 3 states away and has never been there before. She knows what highway will have the most traffic - without ever having driven on it. She knows what all the lights on my dashboard mean and when to take them seriously. She knows how to cook everything - and knows how to fix anything that I've made that turns out disastrous. She thinks it's funny that our dogs have voices (and call her grandma). She makes me buy clothes that I wouldn't normally buy, and I almost never regret the outfit choices later. She lets me make my own choices, and never says 'I told you so' when something doesn't go the way I have planned. She thinks I'm funny - or pretends to, at least. She gave me my fabulous skin that seemingly never ages... Amazing! She taught me how to buy a house, a car, and how to tell if jewelry is real. She taught me that it's better to pay a little more for quality. She taught me patience, and that it's possible to deal with truly impossible people. She taught me that it's okay to ask for help, okay to cry if you want to, but that we are strong, and no matter what, we do not crumble under pressure. We stay strong and we pull through better for it on the other side.

BUT, there are imperfect things too! Like, why do I have ENORMOUS skis for feet when she has tiny ones that look cute in every shoe? Why do we both have to get horrible migraines? And why does she have to be so far away when I need a mom hug at the end of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? 

I miss you every single day, mama! I can't wait until you come and visit me - and teach me how to make everything fit in my closet.

changes

First of all, I apologize for not being a posting machine this week. Work has been crazy, which is normal, but the exciting thing is...

My blog is being redesigned!

Dana from The Wonder Forest is giving perched a complete overhaul. I've seen previews and it's stinkin' amazing. I just can't wait to share it with you guys! So, as a peace offering, please enjoy the above photo (taken by me last July 4th on the iPhone!), and know that a totally new look is coming to our humble little blog.

edit: Thank you for showing me this, CS... this is adorable and so very me!

xoxo

instagram linkup of gorgeousness.

So many super new things going on here! New blog design coming, new business launching... the list just goes on and on...

But for today, we're going to do a link up! Mom2MemphisAndRuby's Tuesday 10! This week... instagram photos. Excellent... my bread and butter. And co-hosted by another of my faves, A Night Owl Blog. Shocking, right?

Onto the content!

my most beautiful little man.

endless as a brooklyn sky

greenest block in brooklyn.

commuters

painting from the beach last year from B

Whomping Weeping Willow at the BBG

One Sweet Love

black tulips

runnin' shoes at the creek

me and my handsome hubcap <3

LOVE this linkup... and will be looking forward to the challenge of my 10 fave accessories next week... I don't think I even have 10 accessories. Such a simple girl I am.

the lessons we learn.

One of my wisest friends said something on facebook the other day that really struck me.

"The worst people in our lives are our greatest teachers. You can still want to punch them in the head, but learn it, bless 'em, and run!"- MR

This week has been a hard one for me. The balancing act that is my life can get really exhausting and, after a long weekend of stress, yesterday was really the end of my proverbial tight rope. But, since I rarely have the time to just break down, I have to take it in, try to process it, and just move on. I never really realized that I do this until MR pointed it out.

The worst people in our lives are our greatest teachers. I think that might actually be true. What have I learned from the various horrible people (HP or HPs) that have crossed my path? Other than all the answers to this little gem:

The perfect party game for all the HPs in your life.
But why would you go to a party with them??

Boundaries. I've learned that people respect you more and treat you far more like a human when you put boundaries in place to protect yourself. I used to have a hard time saying no, but now it comes a little easier, since I've decided that there has to be a part of me (which includes my TIME) that's sacred. Before boundaries, my door was open, and I allowed just about anything into my life. I was tired all the time. I was crying all the time, and it was because there was nothing about me that was mine anymore. I needed to reclaim that part of me, so that I could have my own life again. It was hard. No is much harder for me to say than it is for you to hear, I guarantee that, but I had to learn it in order to get me back. I feel like I'm on a better path now, and it's all because of the rough stuff.


Patience. HPs very rarely know that they're being horrible. (The ones that do are sociopaths, and we'll cover them later.) Sometimes you just have to sit, pretend to listen, nod, and 'mhmm' at the appropriate times so that the complaining will be over sometime before your next birthday. When I practiced this with an HP recently, I found that it was over before I had time to get really annoyed, and the HP was gone! Mission accomplished. 


Perspective. The HPs in my life are generally very negative. They love to bitch about anything and everything. Especially something that I'm doing wrong. So when I hear an HP crying about how there were no seats for their two stop ride on the subway or a tourist shoves money in my face (or worse, tosses it on the table in front of me like I'm a cheap whore), I just remind myself that there are worse problems in the world, and I just need to chill out and get over it.


Anger usually should be answered with love. This has been such an important lesson for me. Angry HPs can be some of the meanest, most abrasive, and downright dirty fighters ever. Between the guilt trips and the full blown screaming fights, angry HPs are more exhausting than usual, but often, when I've approached that anger from a place of love, instead of a place of pure, unadulterated rage!hate, usually the situation can be resolved in a safe, sane way that most all can live with. Remember your boundaries though, and stand firm, even in the face of guilt trips from hell. Don't let the HP walk all over you, but between answering their anger with loving solutions and staying calm, I've been able to walk away from the situation without crying and/or screaming. Little victories.


Sometimes, it's okay to just walk away. Whether that means for the moment or forever, sometimes it's okay to walk away from a situation or a person. Say, if this particular HP is a sociopath, then it's totally valid to simply cut them out of your life and not feel guilty about it. If that sociopathic HP is related to you (which none of mine are, thankfully!), or somehow completely entrenched in your life, and you find yourself unable to cut them off, I've learned that it's okay to just walk away, or stop texting, or do whatever you have to do to get out of the situation in the moment. It's okay to run and save yourself.

That was far lengthier than I expected... apparently HPs have taught me lots of lessons. What lessons have the HPs in your life taught you? 

Oh, and if you want more of MR's sage advice, check our her blog:

Miss Anthrope's House of High Drama

She's definitely worth the read!

xoxo