tuesday 10: oh the places you'll go.

I was so distraught by the worst morning ever that I almost forgot my favorite Linkup of the week. The tuesday 10. Obv.
This week, your host is:Paige @ The Eloping Stethoscope
And our theme:Top 10 Places You want to Travelor...Oh the places you'll go.

1. Seattle, Washington

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2. Big Sur, California

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3. La Jolla, California

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4. Paris, France

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5. Oahu, Hawaii

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6. Vancouver, BC

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7. Edinburgh, Scotland

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8. Wellington, New Zealand

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9. Westhampton, LI

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10. Palermo, Sicily

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A good spattering of domestic and international locations. I'm clearly obsessed with California, and I have to giggle because I live in NYC, but I've never been to Westhampton! This was a fun one... I kept saying to B, "I want to go to Hawaii!"

worst morning ever.

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I have had the absolute WORST morning. Seriously. Worst. Set up for the worst day. I am so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open, my lower back is on fire, and my eyes are so sore...

My cat, Sookie - my favorite cat in the entire universe, was missing.

I can't explain to you the fear that was running through me. I thought that she was gone forever. Disappeared. Hit by a car. Missing forever. Dead. The dread of finding her body. Her gorgeous green eyes frozen, wide open, and scared in her last moments. 

There is no fear like that. There is absolutely no panic like the panic that I felt this morning.

A mothers panic, I assume.

B woke me up at 6:15 by saying, "Jackie, I need you to wake up."

I thought for a second that I was in trouble for oversleeping or something. That was the voice he was using. 

He said that our downstairs neighbor had seen an orange cat last night in the hallway. And he couldn't find her anywhere. I knew, given her track record of wanting to escape, that she was outside of our apartment somewhere. She lives for trying to get out the door. She's got intense wanderlust. Just like her mama, I guess.

Armed with a bag of her favorite treats, I ran down four flights of stairs in light blue running shorts, a completely see through pink lace top (yes, I did have the sense to put on a bra. It was light blue also, and the first thing on the top of my laundry basket.), and no shoes and promptly locked myself out of the apartment. Because on the worst day ever, of course I would do something stupid. 

I was shaking the treat bag, which usually sends her running to me, and crying, barefoot on the street, shrieking her name. A woman walked by me, staring at me, the crazy barefooted woman, running up and down the block. I stopped her and asked if she'd seen an orange cat. She said no, and I proceeded to keen like a dying animal. 

B gave me his keys and I went in and got my shoes on. I thought I heard Sookie's signature jingle in the hallway, but she was no where to be seen, and there is really no where to hide in our hallways. Flying back down the stairs, I resumed the hunt for her outside, but I wasn't feeling hopeful. You see, traffic is crazy in our neighborhood, and sure, the street cats (like my friend Callie) do just fine, because they understand not to run in front of cars and where to go to keep safe, but Sookie doesn't know those tricks. Sookie, the only other time she ever got out (and by out, I mean onto the scary, dangerous street!), ran immediately into the first open door she could find - which was the house next door - and immediately took up residence on their couch and waited for me to find her. My neighbor called the number on her tag, and I came and got her immediately, hugging her hard and promising that I would never let her near an open door again. But I hadn't let her near an open door at all! And no one had called me to say that she'd run into their apartment

But I had heard that jingle...

I met back up with B, and he was empty handed. I was inconsolable. My cat - my very best friend - was missing. I was howling in the street. She was gone.

Ben told me to go inside and start typing up a flier to post around the neighborhood, that maybe someone had taken her in and not seen her tag, or that they would call us at a normal hour (it was almost 7am by this time). Then he told me that he had to go to work, and I lost it all over again. I begged him not to go. I knew that I wasn't going if my cat was still missing, that I would scour every bush in every yard on every block and knock on every single door until I found her, and I needed him to do the same thing, or else I might die.

(I am very dramatic.)

He said that he would call and see what he could do, and that I should go in and start making fliers to find her. I headed back upstairs, totally defeated. I kept repeating her name, and I heard the jingling again. She has a very distinct jingle. Her bell sounds lighter and more tinkly than Cessie's bell, and I can always tell them apart - I guess it's just from being around them for so long. I kept calling her and kept hearing the jingle. Lexi and Conrad were barking up a storm, but I didn't care, because I could hear Sookie.

Hope!

I narrowed down the jingling to the apartment right below ours, and called her again. When I heard her voice, I knew she was stuck in there. She has the tiniest voice, it doesn't match her big personality at all, I called her and called her to make sure, and then I started banging on the door like the joint was on fire. Finally, a very sleepy young lady opened the door, and Sookie rushed out! I scooped her up, and blubbered out an apology for waking her through my tears. The girl said, "Oh, I was wondering where the cat come from. It just walked into my room this morning." I was too happy that Sookie was alive and well to be annoyed. How can you wonder where a cat came from?! Seriously. Cats don't fall from the sky!!

Whatever.

I wept into her fur, and held her waaaaay too tight - think Angelica Pickles.

I brought her back upstairs and she hit the litterbox first thing. I'm sure she was grateful to be back in her bathroom. From there she made quick work of the food bowl and then lapped at her water for about 2 minutes straight. I can't imagine how hungry and scared she was. And how much she had to pee.

I called Ben to get him back inside, and I allowed him to go to work after a brief period of breathing. I went back to bed, and called Sookie up. She laid with me awhile, purring away, and then went up into her cat tree for a well deserved nap.

As for me, well, I've been a wreck of nerves all day. All that I want to do is be home, with her and the rest of the pack, being grateful that they're alive and well and home with me.

I'll leave you with a picture that my dogwalker, JK, sent while he was at my place today, after I told him about this mornings adventure.

I apologize for the length, and that this wasn't the most well written of my posts, but it was horrible and scary, and I wanted to share it with you.

Have any of you ever had a pet disappear? And come back? 

friday letters: [somewhat fake] apology edition.

Dear Readers, I'm so sorry that I've been a bit AWOL this week. The Lifesuck has totally lifesucked it right out of me. Between working late for exhibition openings to moving display furniture to getting a trillion things in (literally) 2 WEEKS BEFORE INVENTORY... I can't. I just can't. Too tired. I'm going to be better next week, I swear. I actually mean this one.

Dear Bed, Remember that love note I wrote to you a couple of days ago? I'm sorry that I haven't seen more of you since then. It must be embarrassing for someone to profess their undying love for you in such a public forum and then not hang out with you. I'm such a guy in our relationship. I will do better. I promise. Please don't kick me out. We'll work on it.

Dear two bug bites on my left ankle, I'm so sorry that I sat on that bench for 16 seconds and got you. I wish I knew how to quit [scratching] you. You hurt.

Dear KS and EC, Thank you for dinner last night, and thank you for being the kinds of friends that make me laugh until my face hurts. You're the best. I'm sorry we didn't do it sooner, but I smell a standing date after our big girl jobs! (EC just got a brand new big girl job, and we're super extra proud of her!!!)

Dear 99 Degree Heat in New York City, I'm sorry, but you have got to go. The pavement is so hot, the bottom of my shoes MELTED while I was waiting for the light to change and cross the street. Seriously. It's not even August. Go.

Dear Lexi, I'm sorry you're so hot, big girl. We leave the air conditioner on for you all day, and yet you still look so miserable! I wish we could shave you. Alas, you don't have that kind of fur.... and you'd look really stupid.

Dear coffee cart guy, I'm sorry, but I think that you gave me regular when I asked for decaf iced coffee today. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. Perhaps you didn't hear me clearly? Or maybe the heat has addled your brain. I hope I don't have a heart attack.

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend.

 

these are a few of my favorite things: brooklyn edition

I've been so swamped lately, and running around the city like a crazy person until all hours of the night, so I really haven't had quality time to spend with my blog, which makes me unhappy. 

This morning, I was looking through my back log of things to share with you, and I came across a few pictures that I'd taken that really had nothing to do with anything else, save for the fact that they were all taken in Brooklyn, and that I liked them.

All the more reason to share them with you, right? RIGHT!

I love this photo. I took it on the highway (I was clearly in the passenger seat... don't take highway pictures while driving kids!) with a super clear view of the Manhattan skyline and these ah-mazing rain clouds hovering over the sunset. I love it. 

I think my favorite thing about it is how big the clouds are, and how small it makes Manhattan look in comparison. The biggest city ever never looked so tiny. It sort of blows my mind.

Ain't no graffiti like BKLN graffiti. Taken in Williamsburg, I think around my buddy Lala's birthday.

I don't know why I like it, but I do.

But this one.... This is my favorite of them all.

First of all, I wouldn't recommend calling either of these numbers. They're likely to put you in touch with the evil ex-girlfriend of whoever put up the sign. BUT, I couldn't figure out how to blur the phone numbers without ruining the awesomeness of the rest of the picture, so... dial at your own risk.

Here's some of the things that we can infer from this sign that I found posted on the entrance to the Nostrand Ave A/C train station (on a sign for the new USA series Common Law):

"one nite stands only" - clearly he's in it for the long haul.

Two Brooklyn area codes, so he's likely local and not a transplant. 

"Females only" - This is a man that knows what he wants.

offers date ideas such as: A cigarette meet date, dutch dating, soda date, or a walk date.... I don't know what most of that means.

His ideas of fine dining: McDonalds, Wendy's, Popeyes, Subway

Dates that sound like a decent idea if they weren't on a sign: The aquarium, the zoo, cake and ice cream date.

"meaning may be romance"... I think with an advert like "one nite stands only", the chance of "romance" is probably higher than "may"

Does any of this sound like a good idea to any of you?

Until next time. Keep it Klassy, like we do in Brooklyn.

tuesday 10: what I love about...

A second post today! Seriously? Seriously.

Read on. Prepare for having your mind blown.Just kidding, probably. But you've been warned.
Linking up with one of my favorites, Lena @ Mom2MemphisAndRubyfor her final 10 for 4 whole weeks!*gasp!*
This weeks theme is
What I love about _____.Fill in the blanks! I was always so good at those.
So, I read through everyone's lists that have posted so far, and I'm so torn about what to share! Everyone is sharing why they love their family, boyfriend/husband, etc. Julie at The Funny Thing of it is... made my day with her love note for her cell phone. I actually lol'd. No joke. I almost didn't write a 10, because hers trumped my unwritten 10 in every possible way. 
It's with much consideration that I present you with...
The Top 10 Reasons Why I Love...My Bed.
1. It generally provides me at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.
2. It is not too hard and not too soft - it really feels like a firm snuggle.
3. It is my very first big girl bed. I mean, not like I've been sleeping in a crib for 29 years. I haven't. But, I haven't had a proper bed before this one. Just a mattress and boxspring on a metal frame. Mine is a real, honest to God, beautiful black wooden sleigh bed. I've been begging B for one since we moved in together, and finally got one when we bought the nest.
4. I can do work while laying in it and my back never hurts.
5. It's accessories are the best. I have a gorgeous light blue and green paisley quilt that I LOVE, and throw blankets coming out of my eyeballs, and two throw pillows (one with roses and one made of burlap with birds on a wire in vintage-y material) that I also love.
6. Memory foam pillow. That's it.
7. It's big enough for my entire family to fit into. That's right. B and I co-sleep with our kids dogs and cats. Conrad always sleeps in my armpit or in the basket of my arm if I sleep on my side. Or with B in his basket. Or under B's butt. Actually Conrad isn't really picky about where he sleeps, as long as it's warm. Lexi generally sleeps along the bottom of the bed, or when she's feeling sassy, on my side of the bed and I have to move her to actually get in my spot. The cats come and go throughout the night. Cessie's favorite spot is somewhere that cuts off my breathing (chest/face/pinching my nostrils shut). Sookie generally stays near my feet... the better for biting them while I sleep. I know this sounds unpleasant, but for me, it's my favorite.
8. I write best in my bed. I swear, the darkness combined with the sheer comfort of the bed itself, is the very best muse I've got.
9. I can look out of my bay window and see the morning sun and super blue sky first thing in the morning. And when I'm not being a total mushroom, that makes me happy.

10. Because I get to wake up and see this...

yup, that's Conrad's foot in a sleeping B's nose. It's the cutest thing that I've ever seen.

B, don't be mad. You look adorable with min pin toes in your nose.

That's it, babes.... Have a great rest of your Tuesday!!!

father's day weekend/tuesday reviewsday

 You guys. This weekend was so jam packed. I literally didn't take a single picture.

That's a lie. I took one. This is it:

Some pretty dismissive graffiti as seen in Park Slope 

oh! And this one:

There is a coffee called Jet Fuel.
I don't think anyone should drink this.

They really have nothing to do with anything that I did this weekend at all.

My mom and dad got into town late on Friday night. We spent most of the weekend eating - which is a favorite thing in this family. Honestly, we just leave food out on the counters at all times and graze like cattle. It's totally different from what I'm used to, because I never really get to eat during the days normally - except for regular meals - because I'm all runrunrungogogo all the time. But it was nice to have the weekend to be a little lazy and spend time with my people.

My dad was definitely in "fix up the nest" mode. He installed some lights over my sink (which I had no idea that I needed until they were there), rigged up a towel bar in the guest bathroom, and hung my new jewelry case (this fancy, wall mounted, mirrored, vintage looking thing that my mom got for me. Totally amazing from Kirklands - where she works! Check it out here.) up with B. I should've taken pictures of these processes, but I was too busy eating Eat N Park Smiley cookies and laying on the couch with my mom and the cats.

Saturday, we went to Lowe's and did laps of the inside of the building until I thought I would drop of starvation (note: eating your weight in Smiley cookies and iced tea doesn't store up calories for a long trip to the hardware store. I know, I was shocked too.) Then we went home, dropped my dad off, and my mom and I went on a little excursion to Manhattan for errands like Target and Marshals. You know, really important stuff.

We were all so done when we got home that we ate chinese take out together at the kitchen table instead of going out to eat for dinner. I then proceeded to pass out on the couch, sleeping on my moms shoulder, while we watched Robert Downey Jr's Sherlock Holmes for the second time. I could not be woken up. Eventually I zombie walked back to my bed and passed out on top of the covers. I do not remember any of this. Ben also tells me that I said sleepily, "I need a cookie." before falling face first onto my pillow. Clearly Saturday wasn't my most attractive day, but luckily I was surrounded by people that would like me anyway.

Sunday, we hung around for most of the day. We went to Coney Island (I am SUCH an idiot for not taking pictures), specifically to Nathan's, and ate (some more!). My dad was happy with his hot dog and soft shell crab sandwich. Ben and I ate cheese fries and ice cream.We couldn't find a parking spot, so we ended up just hanging out in an illegal parking spot with the windows down, watching cops not ticket anyone and eating our amazing beach food.

For the finale of our weekend, we went to father's day dinner (I know, you're fully shocked that we still had room to eat more food. I am too. It's a miracle.) at a VERY sweet little Park Slope find called Scalino. It was SO GOOD. SO GOOD. I actually said, "This sauce is made from the tears of angels, it's so good." My mom proceeded to tell the owner what I said, and I couldn't tell if he was rolling his eyes or genuinely tickled by my fancy metaphor. The meal was ridiculous. I would tell you about everything I ate, but I think we tried one of everything on the menu. And, for four of us, the bill was only $150. Seriously. In New York, this is practically a miracle. If you're local, go to Scalino. And take me with you.

A brief word about my dad...
My dad is great. He's smart, fun, and affectionate. He knows SO MUCH stuff about so many things. He's warm, and funny. I've just spent an entire weekend with him, so I'm a little spoiled. Thank you for putting things up for me, showing me how to do things that I never would've thought to do. Thanks for teaching me about baseball stadiums, Sherlock Holmes stories, and how to be real person. I appreciate it more than I ever say. I love you a whole bunch. <3

A brief word about my husband...
You're a great dad. I love you. Thank you for sacrificing your time and working so hard to provide for us. We all love you. Even Sookie. No one emailed me and told me that you were the worst today. ;)

Happy Father's Day guys.

This sort of became an epic post.

The short story is, I wish they could've stayed longer.

...

Also today...

I hit 50 GFC followers. I cannot believe that 50 people care to read what I write. Thank you friends. It means a lot.

I'm participating in this little GFC bloghop sponsored by The life of a not so ordinary wife and a bunch of other fab gals.

I'm also fully planning to do a Tuesday 10 today... just dragging a bit from the wicked weekend.

friday letters

Dear woman on the B train wearing teva sandals with socks, I don't forgive you for elbowing me in the face yesterday in your need to get off the train FIRST. I was sitting there, minding my own business, putting my book in my bag, and half starting to stand, when you stand up from the seat next to me and all of a sudden I'm shocked back into my seat by your bony, wrinkly skinned elbow into my cheekbone and the audible knock of my teeth against one another. G'damn. You didn't apologize. In fact, you looked at me like I inconvenienced you by slowing you down. The very sweet young gay beside me asked if I was okay. I just rolled my (tearing) eyes, and he said that you must've been super mad that you had on sandals with socks while I looked so fabulous. He said it loud enough for you to hear. I hope you did.

Dear Sweet Young Gay, Thank you.

Dear Mom and Dad, Absolutely CANNOT wait to see you this weekend!!! Looong overdue.

Dear Nest, I'm gonna clean you. I'm gonna clean you so hard.

Dear Cessie, What's this new thing with you sleeping on the kitchen table? You leave your hair all over it! This is frustrating. I understand that we're roommates and I have no control over you whatsoever, but can we please discuss the common courtesy that you don't nap where I eat? No? Well, at least we talked about it.

Dear Time, Where do you go? I feel like I never have enough of you.

Dear Weekend, I hope you kick ass. No doubt you will.

My parents are on their way right now, so I'm hoping the weekend will be full of adventuring!
I hope you have some adventures too.

if your closet looks anything like mine...

you need this.

I'm pretty stoked to share a guest post with you today! My very sweet and very supportive friend Lena from Mom2MemphisAndRuby is here to share a little Type A action with us. I so desperately need some help in this department.

I wonder if I can get her to come to Brooklyn...

~*~

Hey lovelies!
Lena here from Mom2MemphisAndRuby!

Jackie and I have become good bloggy buddies over the past few weeks and I ADORE her! I'm extremely tickled to be visiting Perched today!

So, for those that don't know me... I'm a mom of 2 blogging from a small farming community in Quebec, Canada.  The hubs and I are tattooed (he's more heavily tattooed that me), and even though we don't necessarily ''blend'' in around here, we certainly feel like this is where we belong.  I work a pretty boring day job at an insurance company, and he is a chef.  Our son Memphis was recently diagnosed as autistic (very high functioning, I must say, but a new journey we're embarking on as a family)... and our 4 year old daughter Ruby is very much a diva! They keep us on our toes and pretty much rock our world!

Another thing you should know about me is how much I love fashion. I believe a girl can NEVER have enough clothes or shoes... I know, I know. I sound terribly materialistic, but bear with me... I'm cheap!  I LOVE thrifting and NEVER, ever pay full price for ANYTHING!  See, not so bad, right?  But all these clothes need to be put away somewhere... Luckily, I aboslutely LOVE reorganizing my closet, and it just so happens I'm about to pull out my summer clothes (it's finally warm here! yay!).  I thought I could do a simple tutorial on closet organization.  I have LOTS of stuff... very little space!

Ugh. What a mess, right? 

First things first: Always go through and, if you can, put away clothes that are no longer appropriate for the season. 

You don't need 12 sweaters at hand in the summer. Get those out of there.

While you're in there, if you can't remember wearing something for the past 6-12 months... get rid of that too.  Unless it holds some sort of sentimental value, you probably don't need it anymore.  If it's still in good shape {and depending what it is}, why not donate it or sell it on Ebay!?

Now, comes the actually sorting and organization. 

There are a ton of ways you can do this:
Style, Color, Brand, etc.

I've decided to do style & color. 

 Similar tops together, slips, skirts, dresses, pants...

I have a lot of pattern in my closet... so I use the "main" color as my starting point...

It's not going to be perfect!

{dang it!}

This is was the "top" section looks like now...

Next, I made sure to hang all my slips together, and my denim skirts as well. 

 As for dresses, I debated about going simply by style & length... but then decided to to it color too.  As best I could... again, I have a lot of pattern so my closet will never look as color-blocked as I would like 

{yes, I'm sorta geeky that way... BUT I love a good pattern too, so what's a girl to do!?}

I keep my jeans on the top shelf, so I just tidied those up a bit...

If you have a ton of denim, I would suggest going by fit & color too... 

That's it.

Much better than when I started, and ready for me to fill it up even more with my summer stuff!!

~*~

That was pretty impressive. I feel that I must learn from you, wise one.
Thank you so much for visiting with us today, Lena, and teaching us your ways. I'm sure we'll all learn from this. Now there's the issue of my closet, which looks like a bomb went off in there. Lena... how's a free trip to Brooklyn sound??

you *do* look fabulous

you're welcome.

The last couple of days have been an absolute whirlwind! I literally don't know which way is up. BUT, I wanted to welcome any new readers from From the Guestroom! I'm giving away $20 in Scentsy Credit to my shop, so all should enter the giveaway! Kay? Kay.

Also, we're going to have a super special guest poster tomorrow. I'm REALLY excited about sharing this with you!!!

Oh, and I met this guy today. He was extremely interesting and the way he spoke just bowled me over. But I think the thing that caught me off guard the most was his warmth and real kindness. I have to say, I was super impressed.

Also, I'm super bummed that I missed my buddy, Michelle from You're my favorite today. She's in NYC with her family on vacation, and she stopped by the Life Suck while I was busy meeting Colin Powell. Life is not fair. I only wanted to meet my bloggy buddy! There's always next trip, I suppose.

Guys, I'm way tired. I hope that I'll be a little more lively next week to share more interesting and fun stuff with you. Or at least amuse you with my wit. But my wit has been passed out in bed for days. 

Maybe she's got the right idea. 

Until tomorrow...

*kisses*

charm(ing) sunday

Happy Monday, dear ones.

 What's happy about Monday? Absolutely nothing, really. Worst day of the week. BUT, I have an adventure to share. Let's let that try to brighten up our return to corporate America, shall we?

 Remember when I raved about my new favorite etsy shop, Brooklyn Charm Shop? Well, I finally went!!!! It was last Sunday, but it took me a week to find the cable to hook my phone up to my laptop. As usual, I'm a disaster, but I'm so in love with the jewelry that came out of the trip. I guess it all balances out eventually.

The shop is tucked off of busy Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It was easy to spot though, because the front is so bright!! The shop is small and quaint from the outside, but just you wait until you get inside.

It's so beautiful. The minute you step in, you're totally surrounded by metals, stones, and beautiful things. Walls of chains, tray after tray after tray of charms. I was so overwhelmed and in awe of the sheer numbers that I had to do two full laps before I could commit to any single item.

There was a center table full of charms, rings, necklaces, bracelets... anything and everything your heart could desire!

It was crowded when I was in there, at least 20 other women (B was the only male in sight!) picking through trays and creating treasures. Most of the price tags and signs were handwritten, and while I usually don't like that in a retail setting, I loved it here. Reason: It didn't feel like a retail shop at all. It felt like your grandmothers attic - a safe, warm cocoon full of treasures that it would take an entire afternoon to sort through, and you will enjoy every single minute.

The decor was perfect. When isn't a unicorn appropriate? Never. Unicorns are always appropriate.

And they artfully paired bunnies and skulls. This is my favorite place on earth.

Getting ready to check out... my tray with treasures!

They will put your creations together for you, which is an excellent perk. I chose a large floral pendant to start, and quickly added a pearl drop right on top! It took me awhile to finish it out. I first thought that  a small turquoise rose charm would be perfect, but then I found this tiny brass White Rabbit, and I was in love. He's just the touch it needed! Put everything on a 24" chain and voila!

I am obsessed. This perfect little charm necklace matches (practically) everything I own and I've worn it almost every day since I bought it.

My other amazing find was this cameo ring. It's my new signature. An olive green background highlights the cream grecian cameo that I can't get enough of. And it was only $12. Seriously. Ah-Mazing.

(Additonally, please excuse my hilarious and juvenile manicure. I was feeling whimsical last week.)

Also, big props to B for being my photographer, and taking me out to lunch after shopping.

Overall, I absolutely LOVE this shop, and I fully intend to take advantage of the classes that they offer. For $40, you get a 90 minute class, all of your materials, loaner tools, and a skill to take with you. That's an absolute great deal. If you're local, you should check out the class schedule here, and let me know if you want to go to a Sunday class with me sometime. 

Oh, and I took this picture that will be the header for ANY Brooklyn post I ever write. So typical, Williamsburg. So typical. And so damn hipster. 

I love you, Brooklyn.

friday letters.

Dear B, this may have been one of the best weeks ever. Thank you so much <3
Dear Life Suck, would it be possible to make my workday shorter and pay me more? That would be great.
Dear fellow subway riders, mind giving me a break and letting me have a seat once and awhile? I doubt that your office job makes you stand all day... and my job does! Please can I have a seat so I can start standing non-stop at 10 instead of 9??
Dear men on the subway, just because you have junk doesn't mean that you can sit with your legs spread  as wide as they'll go, thusly blocking all other people from sitting in the seats on either side of you. Seriously. I doubt you're packing SO MUCH that you have to sit like that. If you are, you have some lady should be carting you around in a limo instead of you taking the train.
Dear customers, no I will not haphazardly mark things down for you. I will get fired.
Dear tourists, I love you. I do. BUT you should have your own lane on the sidewalk. Stopping the flow of traffic ain't cool.
Dear ACC, can't wait to see you tomorrow! It's been too long.
Dear True Blood, I can't wait to see you Sunday. It's been too long.
Dear tourists, it's customary to use D.O. for your B.O. Just sayin'
Dear PB, when you use your porno phone voice to say things like, "there's an air conditioner in the building...", it makes me wonder what someone has just asked you.
Dear puppies, can't wait to snuggle you later. It's what I wait all day for.

sassy chicago shenanigans

I have such a special treat for you guys today.

Taylor, the sassy brain behind The Daily Tay, is here to visit with us today and share some of her incomparable insights.

I think this girl is adorable and hilarious. A lethal combination. I also charmed her by using the word "lady balls" in our very first conversation. Clearly, we are a match made in heaven.

Without further ado...

~*~
Happy Thursday Perched Readers!

My name is Taylor

and I blog over at The Daily Tay

My blog usually revolves around the random

shenanigans I often find myself getting into here in Chicago.

I also like to talk about my lovely pup, Harlow,

and my lovely boyfriend, Chris.

I tend to be a little bit sarcastic, 

and sometimes a little too cynical-

just depends on if I found a close parking spot for the day or not.

I also like to ramble about the hardships of life after college.

I've been out of school almost three years now and still can't shake the fact

I have to "grow up"and be a part of the "real world."

It doesn't help that the eleven year old version of myself

was extremely driven and competitive

and seemed to have very high (yet unrealistic goals I think)

for twenty five year old me.

Here's a little something I found in the archives I wrote

from 1998 entitled 

"What I Will Do When I Grow Up"

I for one, can’t think of a better time in life to make a goal list than in middle school. The year in life when we are probably the most arrogant, naive, self absorbed forms of ourselves we will ever be.  Let’s see what my overly optimistic eleven year old-self had envisioned…

1. Compete in marathons. – I ran a 5K a couple of years ago, does that count? And marathons are overrated, I heard they make people who aren’t even pregnant go into labor.

2. Have a really cool job that I love where I get to travel and be my own boss. –A little more direction would be nice, dip shit. What will I be doing at this “really cool job?” Let me guess, writing notes all day that are covered in Lisa Frank stickers and then folding them up into really tight little triangle shapes.

3. Live in California or New York. – Ridiculous. Folding notes would never pay enough to live in either of these citites.

4. Live in a cool house that I own. – Makes statement 3 even more ridiculous. Or are you trying to tell me you predicted the low rate homes would be selling at in 2012? You have no concept for money, none. I can barely pay my rent every month, ease off.

5. Go on vacations to Africa and London. – This is a little broad. So you want to go to a city in England, and then visit the entire continent of Africa?

6. Play basketball every day. – Yes well, this one will go out the window right after high school when your heart was broken because your team never made it to state.

7. Be married and maybe have one kid. – Let’s work on getting a boyfriend first, little one. You’re going to go through a pretty intense ugly stage in about six months. And the fact you play basketball everyday doesn’t help any.

8. Do a triathlon- What’s with all the not-so subtle workout hints?

9. Have one dog and one cat.- Starting to get a little more realistic, I like this. I must be getting tired from all of my traveling and exercising.

10. Have a lot money so I can buy whatever I want. –I’m sure what I had in mind was being able to buy unlimited packs of gum because in middle school gum was currency.

I’m glad the list stopped at ten. 

I’d hate to see what other demands that little dictator had in store for me…Maybe I do need to get my life in check. Especially if I plan to get to Africa in the next six months.

Now come on over and say hello!

The Daily Tay

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Amazeballs, Taylor. If I had written myself a "get it done by 21" list when I was 11, it probably would've included become a professional ballet dancer and/or a doctor, and have a rad life of celebrity.

You can't win em all, I guess.

Thank you so much for joining us today, Taylor! It was a blast!!!! Everyone go and give her some love!